The Cheapest Range Rover in America Strikes back! (Update)

"maristgrad" (maristgrad) 03/31/2016 at 17:39 • Filed to: Range Rover, DIY, Coolant leak

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Have you ever had an amazing dream where the setting is dinner with Lewis Hamilton, Dale Earnhardt, and Rihanna? And everyone is having a great time talking about fast cars and tales about epic races when suddenly Rihanna leans in close and whispers in your ear “Let’s blow this joint” as she hands you the keys to her Bentley Bentayga. You realize it’s almost a triple entendre; as in she wants to smoke a joint therefore you should drive, she wants to leave this joint to go back to her place and blow…… then you wake up wrapped in a tangled mess of sweaty sheets, returning to your average life and a AAA receipt next to your bed from the night before when you needed to have the cheapest Range Rover in America towed back to your house because it was leaking toxic 50/50 coolant like the Fukushima nuclear reactor. Has this only happened to me before?

Yes after the sweetest dream of owning one of the sweetest luxury SUVs ever made I’ve finally run into my first mechanical issue and it was terrifying. I realized after two months of ownership there must be a slight leak somewhere in the coolant system because I had to top off the antifreeze 6 weeks after topping off all the fluids while getting an oil change the day I bought it. I initially thought well maybe the guys at Oil Can Henry forgot to top off the coolant, but you shouldn’t have to top off antifreeze more than once every 6 months. There weren’t any visible leaks at the time nor was there any steam so I thought everything was fine and I was just being a little paranoid, with this being a Range Rover and all. Boy, was I wrong.

Last night I decided to drive over to my friends house for dinner 30 miles away from where I live. Two blocks away from my friends house, I get a warning message from the dash saying I need to refill the coolant, no big deal I think to myself. As I pull into the driveway, my female companion notices a sweet smell coming from the vents. When I stop the car, steam begins to billow out of the engine compartment. My friend comes outside with a look of horror on her face, saying “ Uh, dude your car is leaking a shit ton of water.” And when I step out of the truck to take a look, she wasn’t kidding. It looked like a mini waterfall.

As I went into diagnosis mode, assuming the worse, I began to think of how many older women I would need to whore myself out to in order to pay for whatever astronomical repair cost I was looking at. Will they make me wear a thong? Christ, I thought to myself, next week I was planning on buying this 2006 BMW 545i after finally saving enough extra money and sending the Range Rover to a repair shop will almost certainly guarantee I won’t be able to buy that sweet sweet black on black with black rims BMW 5 series before someone else does.

I resolved to repair this coolant leak myself. I’m a pretty smart kid (At least that’s what my mom tells me. Shut up.). I’ve replaced the brakes and calipers on my older 1999 5 series and 2001 S500. I’ve done oil changes on both including a 2012 Toyota Corolla and 2007 Prius. And while that may not be worth shit in the massive database of knowledge a certified mechanic may have, I went to college for computer electronics engineering, I know how to logically follow a complicated set of instructions. I determined if I can properly diagnose the problem I’ll have an infinitesimal shot at fixing it myself. A shot worth taking in my book. So what was the problem?

I spent the next 2 hours scouring the internet and Range Rover forums for similar problems (kids today will never realize how much of a godsend the power of the collective knowledge of billions of opinions on the internet is). It didn’t take me long to find what I thought the problem was, based on the location of the leak, but I wanted to be absolutely sure before I started to disassemble the engine cover. After reading a few more articles with people having similar issues I decided go ahead and begin the process of the repair first thing in the morning.

After a great night of sleep I got prepped for a morning of engine work and although it was jarring to wake up and realize I have to fix the stupid cheapest Range Rover in America, I was in a great mood and optimistic about my chances of success.

I busted out my tools and dove headfirst into work.

I removed the engine cover, detached and slid out the interior cabin pollen filter ( I know fancy fancy).

After turning on my flashlight and literally within 15 minutes after popping the hood, I found the offending hose.

Now how a coolant hose managed to get a 1.5-inch tear in it is beyond me. (actually, I’m kinda worried I may need to check the head gaskets just to be safe, but the car has never overheated and it’s not like I’m billowing white smoke from the exhaust…. Paranoid? I dunno, maybe, but I think it’s good to be a little paranoid about these things.)

So now I need to track down a replacement hose, so far from online google searches (and a ton of annoying ad trackers) I don’t think the coolant hose will cost more than $40 with a range of prices, I found between $12 -$35. I have yet to call the Land Rover Dealership, but I have a feeling I should probably use a genuine part for this issue.

I’ll update you guys once I get the replacement part installed. The Cheapest Range Rover in America struck back, but I bitch slapped it back into being my tame off roading camping truck (I hope).

Stay tuned for my next series - When the past becomes present: Reliving my old BMW memories in my new 545i (If no one buys it before my direct deposit hits on Tuesday, why can’t I just be rich ).

P.S. Am I being paranoid about the Range Rover head gaskets? Let me know in the comments below.

Updated - I actually was too impatient for the part so I cut the hose 3 inches and reattached everything. I’ve driven 500 miles total this weekend through the woods with the shortened hose and it’s been running like a champ. I’m no longer using 50/50 mix so I dunno if that’s helping, but I’m surprised my mcgyver patchwork of just cutting the hose shorter is working, and not only working, killing it under pressure. I checked several times and there’s no bulging or stress. I beginning to wonder if I even need the official spare part I bought and has been sitting in my passenger seat just in case ( Who am I kidding of course I do). I’ll update again if my mcgyver setup fails or I acquiesce and install the official part out of crippling fear of causing hidden damage.

Master Cylinder > maristgrad 03/31/2016 at 17:50

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Well... if you have a failing HG that is overpressurizing the coolant with exhaust gases, that would certainly stress a hose. You can buy dye kits that can tell you for certain.

However, I have had hoses fail on older cars without any HG problems, too. Rubber degrades over time, and it degrades faster in the hot, chemical-y environment of an engine bay. Since the RR isn’t exactly brand new anymore, that could be what happened here. If that’s the case, then you should probably consider replacing all of your coolant hoses, since they’re just as old as the one that burst.

jkm7680 > maristgrad 03/31/2016 at 18:11

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As a general rule of thumb, squeeze your hoses. If they’re brittle, they need replacing.

LOREM IPSUM > maristgrad 03/31/2016 at 18:14

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Replace all of those rear hoses while you’re back there, as well as the ones up front as well. Once one fails the rest are not far behind. As an m62 powered e38 owner, I speak from experience.

...and unless your radiator and expansion tank have been replaced they’re on borrowed time as well.

After getting it all back together either rent or borrow a pressure test kit or bring it in to be tested. You need to find where the coolant has been leaking from all of this time, or I absolutely promise you that you’re going to have a bad time over the long haul. Again, I’m speaking from experience here.

A properly sealed cooling system should never require a top up. Flush and fill every 2 years or when things start exploding... whichever comes first. Generally people seem to choose the latter.

For what it’s worth, I seriously doubt you’ve got head gasket issues. That engine is insanely resistant to damage from overheating in my experience. I could elaborate, but suffice to say that the last time my car overheated it was in the worst possible scenario. Any other engine would have seized up solid, but the m62 gave no fucks.

Oh... and the leak is probably from the valley pan. Very common. Not a bad diy, just make sure you have new intake manifold, throttle body, and osv gaskets handy. Also, while you’ve got the intake manifold off it would be a great time to swap out the osv/pcv on the back of the intake manifold as it’s much easier to access while everything is apart.

I wouldn’t buy that 5 series if I were you. The Range is going to demand money and attention, and it’s going to add up quickly if you do it right. It’ll add up to even more in the long run if you do it wrong though.

Oh, and look into switching from regular coolant to Evans waterless coolant (aka straight Propylene Glycol). Biggest difference is that it runs at zero pressure. You can remove the rad cap from a hot engine without requiring skin grafts afterwards. That should reduce the stress on the aging plastic and keep cooling system blowouts a distant memory. It’s pricey, and doesn’t have quite the same ability to remove heat as water based coolant, but it’ll be the last time you’ll be sidelined because of a burst hose.

Good luck!

maristgrad > LOREM IPSUM 03/31/2016 at 18:16

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Omg so much great information, thanks!

LOREM IPSUM > LOREM IPSUM 03/31/2016 at 18:27

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...and I almost forgot one important thing. Whatever you do, don’t overfill the cooling system. A little underfilled is actually preferable to being even a little overfilled.

I’ll explain why.

The expansion tank is relatively tiny, the system is sealed, and generally runs at something like 30 psi under normal operating conditions. If, for some reason, the system pressure goes above 30 Psi, the excess pressure is supposed to vent out of the rad cap. If you overfill the system, the excess will actually be pushed out through the rad cap by design.The problem is, sometimes shit explodes before the system can vent the excess.

This is especially true if you fill thing up before heading off, take a relatively short drive, then shut it down before the thermostat opens. While it sits there the hoses will end up going rock hard and swelling. If you fire it up again before it cools and the pressure subsides, pop goes the (random) coolant hose.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > maristgrad 03/31/2016 at 18:30

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www.roverparts.com and www.roversnorth.com for all your OEM parts replacement needs. They both sell genuine Land Rover parts without the dealership markup.

When you’ve got the hoses replaced get a exhaust gas test kit for the coolant. Rover V8 oil and coolant lines are on opposite sides of the block so you want get the usual oil in the coolant like on other vehicles.

maristgrad > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 03/31/2016 at 18:49

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Thanks so much, greatly appreciated!

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > maristgrad 03/31/2016 at 19:07

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Np, also roverparts.com use NEXT10 for 10% off. It normally works.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > maristgrad 03/31/2016 at 21:39

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Haadkoe’s post had excellent information. I worked at a rover shop for a few years and worked on lots of these. Definitely a good idea to replace all of your houses and your expansion tank. The valley plate may be common on other M62's but I only recall seeing one rover one leak way back when. Radiators and water pumps are kinda junk also. I would be surprised if the minor leak you’ve been experiencing was from this failed hose. When hoses fail like that they don’t often seep for a while first. I would be extremely surprised if you have a head gasket issue, seriously don’t even bother going down that road.

I don’t have any personal experience with those 545's, but all of the BMW techs I know love to talk about how terrible they are. The engines especially. Apparently they ALL will need valve guides (which requires head removal, which is a huge job), and of course the plastic, which everything is made of is more terrible than usual and a big huge list of why no one should ever buy one of these things used. Those and the new turbo V8's are some if the main reasons why they’ve left BMW and now work for their biggest competitor, along with other non-car related things.

adamftw > maristgrad 04/04/2016 at 14:16

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You don’t have to worry about head gaskets... well not as much as the older Buick/Rover-powered Rovers. Just everything else since is a BMW-powered L322. Godspeed, sir. Keep fixing it thought and it’ll last a good while.

gawdzillla > maristgrad 04/04/2016 at 14:27

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have problem with range rover
wants to buy BMW

LOL does not compute
might as well buy yourself an Audi avant off road
#NeverGonnaGiveYouUp

Steve in Manhattan > LOREM IPSUM 04/04/2016 at 14:43

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Everything this guy said. Sealed cooling systems should lose little coolant, if any. And replace the hoses prophylactically (love that word). And check the fuel lines while you’re at it. I hear these things are famous for that.

Why is it the cheapest RR in America?

Quadradeuce > maristgrad 04/04/2016 at 15:08

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I’m more interested in what is says above your driveway gate and what all that shit in your yard is.

maristgrad > gawdzillla 04/04/2016 at 21:53

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I’m a glutton for punishment hahaha

maristgrad > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 04/04/2016 at 21:55

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Yea I’m hearing quite a few bad things about the 545i engine. Thinking about something safer but just as fun like a Subaru Legacy GT limited. I could probably snag an 05 for something decent

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > maristgrad 04/04/2016 at 21:59

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That’s a much better idea. I’m totally fine with unreliable things, but there are some that I just flat out refuse to associate with mostly due to PITA factor and parts costs. The x45 BMW stuff is in that category.